Coltin

My cousin Coltin was in a terrible car accident on Good Friday- on the 10th of April. 3 weeks ago. He is 16- he was hit on his side. I received a call from my mom while I was home "Alisha, did you hear?" She was in FL on spring break, but I kinda thought she was calling about something stupid to be honest. "No" I say. She replies "Your cousin Coltin has been in a terrible accident. Your uncle is on his way. We don't know anything. They won't even tell him if he's dead or alive." I've never had any family under the age of 90 die in my life. I think these were the scariest words I may have ever heard. I raced to the hospital... he was alive. For days we didn't know if he was going to make it. He was unconscious, and things looked bad.

People prayed. People prayed. People prayed.

Fastforward: Today. He opens his eyes. He moves around. He TALKS. He can WALK with help. He REMEMBERS. He has little or no brain damage.

And all I can say is PRAISE GOD!!!

And why? I really truly believe it's because people prayed. And some people didn't just pray the way I do--- where I take 2 minutes to pray hard for him and do nothing else, but then the rest of the time during the day that I pray for him is inbetween things or while I'm doing something else (don't get me wrong- I think God totally listens to these prayers too)-- but some people PRAYED. They prayed for hours and hours and hours straight without stopping. THAT and God's SOVEREINTY is what healed him.

I know I have a lot of bolds, but that's because this has been an exciting process. Truly, there are people who were in the exact same situation as him that died. He didn't wake up for an entire week! They thought at some points that he may have severe brain damage for the rest of his life. But yet, he is clearly on his way right now to a full recovery. I love nothing more than seeing God fully at work. To see God's hand in something. There's no other way to explain Coltin's situation, and I truly hope everyone who sees it will see it as just that.

Even if he had died, I know God would have been sovereign. There were truly points at first when I came grips to this truth because we just didn't know. But MAN I'm so so glad that God has chosen to answer man's prayer in this way. So glad to see Coltin with breath and life still :)

That has been my life lately.

Blessed-- vs. Suffering

So I've been thinking a lot about the subject of blessings lately as I feel like God has been blessing me. I've gotten both of the jobs I wanted for this summer/next school year and feel like that is a HUGE blessing, especially in this economy. They're also leadership-type jobs, and I feel like I am constantly being blessed with getting leadership positions. I have this AMAZING scholarship that I don't even know how I earned ... I mean, besides the fact that God loves me and must want to do something amazing with me (which scares me because how can I be amazing? Such responsibility!), I have a great and caring husband, I have a good family who brought me up well (and good in-laws), I have been able to travel the world, I have a computer and TV, I have a house, I have been attending school for 16 years now (something very few people in this world ever have the chance to do), I have a closet full of clothes and a pantry full of food, I have a car, and I have around six Bibles in my house. I could go on and on, but these things alone set me apart from most of the world in being one of the most privileged and blessed. And sometimes... a lot of times... I just wonder WHY? And a lot of times... I think "Well, God must want to USE me."
But this is where it all gets sticky with me. You see, USE ME... to me... seems like I should be in some third world country serving him. And to be quite honest, I love third-world countries and would have no problem living in one. But sometimes I don't really think that's where God wants me. He's given me such a gift for mentoring-type relationships and a passion for youth, and maybe I'm supposed to use that here in the U.S. to help raise up the next generation.
But then I think about when I went to Africa. Honestly, I would say I was closest to God during that summer. And when I think about all of the times in general when I was closest to God, they were a result of suffering (if you could even call it that) or going through tougher times in my life. I long for those times when I feel closest to God even if it means being in an unfamiliar place, but I wonder if I'm just doing it all wrong. I mean, if I really think that God wants me here in the U.S., and if I continue being blessed here, how do I feel as close to God as I do when I'm suffering? Is it wrong not to "feel close" if I am still spending time with him daily? I mean, how much should our "feelings" play into our relationship with God? And if I'm not suffering, is it wrong? Should I have daily sufferings as a result of living a full sold-out-for-God life?

I know this is a lot of questions and not a lot of answers. Because I don't have them. I just need to write down what I'm thinking. I just look in the Bible at the people I respect the most and I see how a lot of them suffered so much... but yet... well- I'm going to stop there.